Remembering...

Today I am remembering my sweet baby girl, who was born into heaven. On June 22, we found out that our baby had died, when I was 26 weeks pregnant. The doctors said it was SIDS, in the womb, there was no explanation. On June 26, Josianne was born...into heaven. I read that on another blog and thought it was the best way to describe her birth. I carried her in my womb for 26 weeks, but she never lived outside of me. In fact, she slipped into heaven without even stepping foot into this world. It all seems so distant, but then again, it all seems not that long ago. Sometimes I imagine what it would have been like if she would have been a part of our family. Sometimes, I cry at the thought or mention of her. Sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, my children ask about her. Sometimes, God gives me an opportunity to share my story and his love and grace that got me through the pain. Sometimes, I wish she were here. Sometimes, I can't believe that I lost her. Sometimes, I read my blog and relive every moment of it all, just so that I can always remember her...because sometimes, God has a way of allowing time to bring healing. With that healing, sometimes, I forget how sad loosing Josianne really was. And then, sometimes...I choose to trust God's heart, because I sure can't trace his hand, or make sense of a difficult situation. And I always rest in that peace and hope and find comfort and joy for the journey!!! I always, always, always know that His plans are best and that I can trust Him to do what is best for me...even when I sometimes, don't understand!

"For I know the plans I have for you"-this is the Lord's declaration-"plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11